Tim Redgewell DipHYP, DipHT.
A quick biography
Born in 1977 on the East Coast of the UK in a county named Essex, 40 odd miles from the heart of London. Tim is the eldest of 6 children having shared his childhood with 4 younger sisters and a younger brother. Because of divorce, and remarriage, his extended family became somewhat larger as he passed from childhood, to teenager, to adulthood.
“As a kid I was very active. There was rarely a time where I was inside our house spending time either swimming, creek jumping in the estuary our village was located alongside, or playing sports of one fashion or another. At 16 my family decided to move from the East coast to the West of England close to the major historic cities of Bath, and Bristol. This is when things in my life changed dramatically. My final year of school was marred by an administration mess up, and the school I was attending used a different examination board to the one I had been accustomed to. I also found out the hard way about “keeping it in your pants” fathering a child by an ex girlfriend. There is no doubt about it my 16th year of existence was probably the hardest, most upsetting, and life altering, year I’ve experienced in my life.
The stigma attached to being a “teen dad” has haunted me for many years and at the time was driving me to bouts of depression for which I would self medicate to escape from. This “self medication” came by way of binge drinking (alcohol), smoking marijuana, and taking other popular recreational drugs of the mid 90’s. Binge drinking was an easy coping mechanism to hold on to as my parents had purchased a pub/bar when we moved from the East. This certainly made it easy for me to get my hands on what I believed at the time would help. I spent many hours sitting in the bar drinking, talking, and listening, to the patrons of our bar while also learning how to be a barman.
Becoming an adult
After leaving school with average exit exam results, I worked, and trained, as a stone mason hand carving architectural pieces for the construction industry. But, after an injury to my shoulder; which I still suffer pain, and discomfort, from to this day; along with the mental duress I was keeping myself under led me to being unreliable, and I lost my job. In hindsight it was a real shame I didn’t search for proper help back then because I adored being a stone mason and wish I could still be doing it now. I was also in a long term relationship with the mother of my next child who was born when I was 20.
After losing my job, and a 6 month hiatus trying to get my shoulder fixed, I accepted a position as an assistant manager of a different pub. Even though I was still a tender 21 year old I had learnt how to listen well, and sell alcohol to people, making me really quite good at the position I was in. I also learnt I was able to deal with people on a personal level during this time. After all it’s much easier to deal with a drunk human who is intent on being violent by talking them down rather than forcing them into submission and calm state; especially when you’re a 5 foot something little guy. Nearly a year had passed when the bar I worked was sold to a private party whom didn’t keep the promises that the staff were made prior to the final sale. I was once again unemployed, but this time with a son and partner to try and help support. It was decided that for a couple of years until my boy was ready for school I could stay at home and raise him rather than having him in day care which was a huge expense at the time. I’ll be the first to admit that it didn’t go well. My mental fortitude was escaping me fast, and the bouts of self medicated depression were getting closer together and much more frequent. I tried many different ways to relieve the pressure I was feeling creating a band where I could express my love of music. We wrote, and learnt to record, all our own songs and material, and began performing on the local gig circuit, but the music industry is hard to conquer and drink, drugs, and parties, were always prevalent. This was a fun time of life for me as it is for many young adults, but it really just ended up being a distraction from the important things in life.
It took me a couple of years to get my head around the important stuff, and that is when I made the decision to clean up. My son, and relationship, were suffering because of my near uncontrolled behavior, and my first steps were to stop drinking. And I did, cold turkey. No more beer, scotch, or vodka for me, but as a consequence my relationship with my son’s mother continued to fall apart due to perceived lack of support for my decision. It was at this point I had my full breakdown. I didn’t know what to do, where to turn, or how to pick up what little I had left of my life. I’d reached out and found a friend in the US, who eventually became my wife, but that friendship just solidified the problems in the relationship I was already in. The literal “shit hit the fan” at this point with that current relationship ending. I moved back in with my mother and her 3rd husband having nowhere to live, and embarked on rebuilding myself, and my life. I’d decided, through my experiences as a barman, that the skills I had could be well utilized helping people solve their problems as opposed to selling them another drink while listening to their life stories. That’s when I found Chrysalis Counseling, and hypnotherapy. With the support, and encouragement, of my family and new found love in the US, I got a bank loan and embarked on a 2 year commitment to become a complementary therapist. I studied hypnosis gaining a professional diploma, as well as earning a professional diploma with merit in holistic therapies & counseling which comprised of studying Reiki (to Master level), neo-shamanism, and 1 year of study in psychotherapy and counseling.
After gaining my diplomas I embarked on opening a small practice that concentrated on hypnotherapy. I found a group of like minded complementary therapists working under the banner of The Positive Living Center in my locale. With their support I managed to not only build a fairly sizable client list; seeing nearly 100 clients in the first 18 months; but gaining enough trust, and respect, from my fellow therapists that I became a “therapist to the therapists”. During this period of time my personal life; even though there were times of great hardship; was flourishing. I was able to take regular trips out to the US to visit those who would become my wife, and 3 step children, while organizing the ability to immigrate. In September of ’05 I got clearance from the US government to move to America and I shut down my practice, boxed up my life, and by November of the same year boarded a plane to a new life and opportunities.
In the USA
The first 3 years of life in the US, after marrying my beautiful wife, were completely dictated by the immigration, and residency, process. Under the terms of my legal status I was not allowed to work or even volunteer my services, so I turned my attention; once again; to being a homemaker/stay-at-home-dad. My wife and I created 2 more beautiful children bringing our family size to 5 kids. I also took on the monumental responsibility of caring for my father-in-law whom was suffering with Parkinson’s Disease. This meant a routine of medications every 3 hours, regular trips to huge numbers of doctors and medical facilities, and having to deal with sometimes rather unsavory behavior while all the time attempting to raise kids. It was in this period of time that my wife, and I, began to have health concerns. For me personally the American diet was taking it’s toll. Having gained a great deal of weight, and after a routine check up with a doctor it was found that triglyceride and LDL levels were way out of balance. The prognosis: change something or risk heart attack and stroke by the age of 40. Our solution was to become vegetarian, and I have been ever since.
In ’08 the government finally gave me residency, and just over a year later my wife and I decided that city life was becoming too much of a strain. We got together our savings, and purchased 5 acres of raw land with nothing more than a house, and a handful of dying trees on it, and moved the entire family to the middle of no where. Our plan: build a small family farm that could sustain us, pay for itself (eventually), and provide us with a future retirement and legacy to leave for the children, and our future grandchildren. So, we set about fulfilling this plan planting fruit, and nut trees; breaking ground for seasonal vegetables; and collecting chickens and goats. And that’s still what we do to this day 5 years on. In late August of ’13, and with much sadness, we had to say “goodbye” to my father-in-law whom died at home with us from heart failure. We all miss him greatly at Bel’s Rise.
So, who am I today? Well, above all, I’m just like everyone else: a human being. I’m knocking on the door of middle age and suffering all that comes with getting older: aches and pains, stress from responsibilities; both financial and family; and a fatigue that settles into one’s bones. As I look back on all that I’ve been I know I wouldn’t change a thing. I know this because I’ve been lucky in that I’ve experienced so many aspects that a life can give. I’ve assisted in ushering life into the world, and I’ve been present as life leaves. I’ve been a drunk, and still enjoy sobriety. I have explored my mind though drugs and hallucinogens, while cementing personal philosophies and beliefs. I have worked hard, and worked not at all. Been poor, and affluent. Seen the world through the eyes of a citizen, tourist and an immigrant. I have hidden myself from anguish yet stood tall, and bold, in the face of abuse. In short I’ve lived life; every minute, and second, that it has given me; and I have no intention of it getting the better of me. I use the skills I have learnt every day from calming a sick animal, to motivating my children to strive to be the best they can be, to building a new structure on the farm. So, who am I? I am the culmination of my life, and I’m happy with that”.